Final Thoughts of 2006
I’d call this my review of 06′ and it’s contents, but I’m not limiting it to stuff that came out/happened this year, or that I even saw/heard/etc. this year. So just consider this my review of stuff I liked best/hated most in the year of 06′…I don’t pay too much attention to recent things coming out, but hopefully most of this stuff has some relevance to 06′
Music:
Best:
-Nightwish
-Electric Six
-Daft Punk
-Scooter
-Dragon Force
-Blind Guardian
-ABBA
-Gorillaz
-Incubus
-Men At Work
-Neil Diamond
-Tenacious D
Worst:
-Indie
-Rap
-Punk
-Pop
-Country
-Grocery Store
-Hip Hop
Movies:
Best:
-Advent Children
-The Matador
-Full Metal Alchemist
-Seven Samurai
-Donnie Darko
-Versus
-The Rocky Horror Picture Show
-Zatoichi: The Blind Swordsman
-Ju-On
Worst:
-Shrek 1+2
-Finding Nemo
-Happy Feet
-Over The Hedge
-A Space Odyssey: 2001
-Cars
-Ice Age 1+2
-The Grudge 1+2
-Charlie And The Chocolate Factory (w/ Johnny Depp)
Television:
Best:
-Full Metal Alchemist
-Louie the Rune Soldier
-Azumanga Daioh
-Full Metal Panic (w/ Fumoffu + The 2nd Raid)
-Viva La Bam
-Wildboyz
-Kenny vs Spenny
Worst:
*shrugs*
Video Games:
Best:
-Ragnarök Online
-Final Fantasy 5+7
-Star Wars Battlefront 2
-Katamari Damacy
-We *Heart* Katamari
Worst:
-Devil May Cry 2
Generally Good Things:
-Clint Eastwood
-Sock Baby
-The Internet
-Milk
-Snowboarding
-Baulder’s Gate 2
-Spicy Chicken Wings
-Science
-Tae Kwon Do
-Iced Tea
-Frank’s Red Hot Sauce
-Webcomics
-Me
-Technology
-Lasagna
-Nachos
General Dissapointments:
-Devil May Cry 3
-X-Men 3
-Me
-4am wakeups
-Kingdom Hearts 2
-EuphRO
-Howl’s Moving Castle
-Alcohol
-People who dissagree with me
-Dancing
-Hotmail
-Organized Religion
-Other drivers
-MSN Messanger
-Popular Fashion
It’s not a 100% complete list naturally, but I think it covers the most of it, see you all in 2007
Santa is a homewrecker
Yet another reason Santa Clause should be hung…he ruins homes and famillies! Have you ever heard the song with the line “I saw mommy kissing Santa Clause”? Think about that for a second, let it sink in, Santa is commiting adultery! And there’s some poor bastard husband who’s just sitting there and taking it while is whore wife is sleeping around with some fat, criminal pedophile! Fuck you Santa!
Luckily, I finally managed to get this sick twisted bastard into court like he deserves, here’s a picture from the courtroom artist, done while the daughter was on the witness stand:
Santa is a Pervert
There’s a certain song that made me come to my senses and realize how disgusting how Santa Claus really is, it’s called ‘Santa Claus is coming to town’. Don’t believe me? then explain these lyrics to me:
“He sees you when you’re sleeping, He knows when you’re awake”
…The question I have is…why the hell would he watch someone when they’re sleeping?…but only know when they’re awake? If you wanted to know if someone was being naughty or nice, wouldn’t is be alot more convenient to watch them while they’re concious? I’m fairly sure 100% of the Detectives out there would support my claim.
The second thing about that…if Santa has the ability to see when you’re sleeping, doesn’t that mean he can see through your roof and walls, and I don’t know let’s say…clothes? I’ll bet any amount of Hot Sauce that the old man with a fat wife, who’s been sitting around all alone (excluding elves, which I’ll get too), for a few hundred years, with the ability to see through anything, has snuck in a few peaks here or there. By the way, shower lately? Santa knows.
Next peice of evidence, watch Santa at a shopping mall, he’s got more minors on him than R. Kelly. When’s the last time you saw a 30 year old sit on Santa’s lap? Santa likes them young, and he likes them alot. The reason Santa wears heavy clothes isn’t because it’s cold where he lives, it’s to cover up his raging hard-on for whenever he’s working the mall. Disgusting.
Now onto the elves, a workshop full of people who resemble children? Enough said. But the main thing about the elves isn’t about Santa being a pedophile, it also proves that Santa is racist. Now, if you visited any other business, and they only hired one “race” of people, you’d think there’d be some kind of controversy, not with Santa though. I once sent Santa a letter asking if I could work in his toy factory, his response? “Sorry, I only hire elves to work in my toy factory”. Imagine some black person hands in an application to McDonalds, and the manager said “Sorry, we only hire white people” The Shit would hit the fan.
Hey, why not also go for the obvious one as well, how many ‘break and enters’ has this fat bastard done already without getting into any trouble!? As of writting this scentance, I’m being told there are 6673208251 people in the world, now I’m just going to pull a number out of my ass and say ‘there are 5 people for ever house in the world’, now let’s do some math, 6,673,208,251/5 = 1,334,641,650 houses in the world = 1,334,641,650 cases of ‘break and enter’ each year by one person alone! Where the hell are the police!? And it’s not just ‘break and enter’, he steals also! He’s stealing from every one of those houses he enters, now imagine that he only steals 1$ worth from each of those houses, that’s still over 1 billion, 300 million dollars worth of stolen food in just one night! And he eats it too! Think about how many starving children could be saved across the world if we gave them that much food (not that I particularily like children, moreso than Santa though), just by putting Old Saint Nick behind bars.
People are actually promoting this dirty, racist, criminal, pedophile to their children, and for as long as possible, at least until a select few of them how fucked up this guy really is, and then write on the internet about it. Go to hell where you belong Santa Clause.
(I know I spelt ‘Concealed’ incorrectly, shut up)
Paris Hilton is Ugly and Slut
Who the hell knows how this dumbass became famous in the first place, but even moreso, why the hell is she still famous, and beyond that, who’s dumb and blind enough to be her fan and make her famous? I thought Hollywood was supposed to be full of beautifull people…now apparantly it’s full of ugly, stupid, slutty people with fucked up eyes.
Why can’t you idiots see that! Paris Hilton has a lazy eye! Since when did lazy eyes become sexy?! Even without seeing the lazy part of the eye, what the hell is with that black circle around the colored part of her eye? It’s digusting.
I literally shuddered when I realized I’d have to go find a picture of her on the internet to complete this post. Maybe if I ran face first in the ugly forest, I could become famous too, what do you think?
“That’s not my ring, that’s my wristwatch”
Review: Switzerland
Artist: Electric Six
Album: Switzerland
Genre: ….Disco Rock, is the best I can come up with
More: www.electricsix.com
Dick Valentine, Johnny Na$hinal, The Colonel, Percussion World, John R. Dequindre and Tait Nucleus? return for their 3rd Album, Switzerland, following up their first two incredible albums, Fire (2002) and Señor Smoke (2005).
Sex, sex and sex, the 3 most prominent subjects which the Chicago born Electric Six sings about. Awesome catchy music, which is definately bound to get stuck in your head, especially with Dick Valentine’s deep, near monotone, very controlled singing.
As for their latest album, Switzerland, it’s the same kind of change from Señor Smoke, as Señor Smoke was to Fire. There may not be any huge hit songs on their album, like there was in Fire (Gay Bar, Dance Commander, Danger! High Voltage), but in reality, it’d be asking alot to come up with new songs to equal their classic hits, so there’s no complaints here about that.
Switzerland is moreso like Señor Smoke, it seems more refined and purposeful, whereas before it was more raw and unadulterated. I don’t mean to downplay their earlier albums or anything, I’m just saying how they seem to have changed, both styles are excellent and definately worth buying.
At first I was skeptical about Switzerland, my brother and friend having said they didn’t like it as much as the first two albums, and even when I first listened to it I was still unsure, but at the time I was doing multiple things and couldn’t really pay attention, but after having to take a long drive out to go snowboarding, and getting the chance to listen to it without having to do anything else, I’ve decided that this album fully deserves it’s place alongside it’s older brothers. Check out the songs ‘The Band In Hell’, ‘I Buy The Drugs’ and ‘Infected Girls’ to find out just how great their newest album is.
Review: 4/5
And as a side note, these guys are great in concert also, even if their keyboardist gets stopped at the border, so they can only play as ‘Electric Five’, go see them if you get the chance.
Review: Once (Nightwish)
Band: Nightwish
Album: Once (2004)
Genre: Epic Metal
More: www.nightwish.com
For all you people who listen to crappy music, and want to stop, and also to all those of you who already listen to good music, and are looking for more awesomeness to add to your collection, this CD is for you.
Hailing from Finland, Nightwish has been around since 1996, when 3 friends were sitting around a campfire playing around with acoustic guitars, since their campfire-loving days, they have even gone on to play alongside the metal legend known as Iron Maiden.
This is their latest album, which has sold over 1,000,000 copies world-wide. With their opera-voiced singer Tarja (Female Metal singer ,|,,| ), and even some help from the choir that lent their voices to Lord Of The Rings. There’s no reason to play with words, this album kicks balls, awesome guitars, singing, drumming and keyboarding. That’s right! keyboarding.
For those of you who don’t know the difference between regular Metal, and Epic Metal, well, you should have been able to guess based on the eariler parts of this review, Epic Metal is more complex, melodical, and deep than the regular “Fast guitars + fast drums”. Like I mentioned before, opera like singing, choirs in the background, keyboards, and on this album, even a track in another language (Finnish is my only guess, but I can’t say for sure).
Stop reading my stupid reviews and go buy this album! For a small sample of what to look forward to, please visit this site: http://rikerbarrelroll.ytmnd.com/ (Actual version may contain more Electric Guitar + Distortion)
Suggested listenings from this album: Nemo, Dark Chest Of Wonders, The Siren (You only get 3, find the rest on your own)
Review: 5/5
(Album cover may be different than shown)
